Respect everyone's dignity. My wife wants kids but she doesn't know why. This is particularly the case with mental health issues, which have been increasingly shown to have a genetic component that can be passed down. Treat others the way you want to be treated. I do not understand the desire to have children, other than its just what people do. I don't see the appeal of the messy infant stage, but to some people not having a veiny, 7lb wrinkly grandpa for a year or two is a deal breaker. I also believe that it is sinful the amount of inconsideration that people have when it comes to it. The more articles, blogs, opinions shedding light on lifestyles sans children and the potential joys to be experienced from doing so, just creates more of a safe place for people like myself to exist online. While it may seem obvious to some, having a child completely changes your life, and it gives new meaning to your life. What would I do with a boy? Thankful for my decision? it's an instict! It's just selfish. Someone with strong opposition of this mindset, please give your thoughts. What is the proportion of boys to girls in the country? What I tell them is a lot like the paragraph above. It crushed me and I had to leave him. There are so many ways to contribute to society, getting fat and having no life is definitely not on my list. It is not a rite of passage. Directed by Jason Todd Ipson. No matter who you are or what you believe, this book has a lot of life lessons and life facts for anyone willing to read it. Then there are the parents that have everything right. I have a better paying job and we are in a good place. I had just turned 40 and I was barely getting by. So nonsensical, pointless use of time and energy. Subscribe to the New Parent newsletter & receive It can take years to fully adopt someone. The writer just “doesn’t get it” because she never had any. I was walking in the park and saw a rabbit. We want our boys to keep being like boys because masculinity is still where the power lies. To Give Their Children the Chance to Enjoy Existence. And yes, I just turned 30 years old, and my wife and I do want to have a couple of kids in the near future, we want them to be ours, look like us, to preserve our family names, to spend time with their grandparents, to dress them with cute clothes, to provide them stuff that we didn't have, to help them grow up in a better way than we did, to travel to places, to watch them make a family of their own (if they want to) and many other known and unknown selfish reasons that we consider to be "right". I moved to DC and lived with him. This isn’t why there are so many single mothers. Despite that the official answer is 50/50 I feel that something wrong with it. Overpopulation: the real fact is that earth is not overpopulated as they describe. I grew up with four sisters, spent half of my life wearing dress up dresses and the other half devouring feminist literature. In the chorus there is a line which is repeated 2-3 times iirc. That's not to say that acts perceived as "selfless" are not admirable. Here are some of the reasons why a person walks away from a parent or stops including parents in their life. But it’s a hell of an experience, and if you consider that you want to be brave and adventurous, don’t go on a canoe down the Orinoco, bin the condoms and starting stencilling the spare room with unicorns instead. It is the highest compliment, but perhaps the most disheartening thing you’ll ever feel. When the child grows up, he/she is expected to be indebted to the parent forever because she struggled to survive. Or maybe having a girl meant having the same difficult mother-daughter dynamic you had growing up. Nice guys: pro or con? Many people have lame and selfish reasons for having kids. Surprisingly or not, I do not feel left out of the children mix. Our socialization is geared toward the right stuff for the changing requirements of success in the 21st century: Women are likely to have a more balanced, empathetic leadership style, better communication skills, a knack for fostering innovation through collaboration.”, So, why are people still anti-girl? By the way most of them they had children. People eally don't think about how much you have to give up when aving a child. Don't be lazy & have kids saying 'they'll make the world a better place', it's everyone's responsibility to do this regardless of whether you have kids or not. If you ask any parent if they would have their kids again & again the majority will say yes for sure as their kids are the most beautiful thing in life for many parents despite all the “disadvantages” you mention. I am happy reading the same book 12 times in a row because she likes to laugh at all the characters. Some posts here were insightful and some were just opinion s. Just how discussion goes. Recently I have thought of perhaps bringing a child or adopting one but for different reasons. What's behind it—and has the NHS been too quick to find a solution? Here are some reasons why: Revelation#1 I realize that everything I could do with a boy I can do with my daughters (i.e. To allow them a chance to experience life seems like the only decent one. You had to be there. Because I want them to see what a real female body looks like. ), here are 10 great things about being mother to a gorgeous little boy – bearing in mind this is just for fun and not a deep and meaningful piece: Great Things About Having A Baby Boy #1: They Love Their Mamas It's easy to "love" someone who does exactly what you want and becomes a replica of yourself for eighteen years. There is a reason for that. I am okay with leftover peas and Cheerios as a meal here and there in the rush of caring for her. We have kids to satisfy our own desires. If you want children, you should stop thinking about yourself and adopt some African or whatever kids that are already exists in this world but they're going to die in suffering. After all, the deveolped countries expoit the developing countries. Eating rye bread? Truth seems to be that it's not your potential kids' job to make the world a better place, to contribute, and study - it's Yours! You just do not know what they have been through and what they deal with n a daily basis. DON'T BE AFRAID. The only person who thinks other wise is my husband (I think it's because he secretly wants a girl) and I feel like its still 50/50. And as a bonus, we’ve amassed so much savings from not having kids, we will retire early. A study by British parenting site Mumsnet in 2012 found that 45% of mothers desire a baby girl, just 22% said they wanted a boy. Too many children are born to people who can not, will not, and have no intention of raising children to become responsible adults. We need to all be 2-3 kids to maintain a stable population. This is the result of a terrible set of economic decisions. Focus on why you wanted either a girl or a boy. They find joy in knowing that their child will bear their last name and keep the family going. Finally, no one talks about the BAD part of a woman having kids. After having a child you become responsible for their life and because of that, your existence takes on a whole new meaning. If she refuses, they threaten to call CPS because his molestation, er, I mean, vaginal and breast exams are "good for the baby". Have them for the experience of having them - it happens naturally when you have sex so it’s as if it’s a gift of life to have the opportunity to have children if you can (maybe wasting a huge learning opportunity if you can have them but choose not to) - if you commit to doing the right thing, you’ll become a better person. You don't need to be Christian to do this. People who were raised in a positive home environment with a stable family want to create that life with their significant other. Very early in my teaching career (early 80's), I had an elderly lunchroom worker noticed that I did not have children after my fourth year of marriage. Probably. They think she is hating on people having kids and that her outlook is bleak. You may have an ulterior motive, but to argue against having kids because of said motive invalidates the commitment that parents make to give their kid the best life they could possibly ask for (that is assuming there was a commitment to begin with and the child is not a future "get out of an elderly home free card"). To raise a woman, who is loved, smart and knows her worth that is something I can do. This concept is appealing because you get to determine how your child will turn out and what values they will have. The early years of raising a child are when this is the worst and having more than one child can make even more years of disordered sleeping pile up, which is terrible for one's health. In the last 20 years of our existence we are trying to contradict the 'by experience' evolution of the DNA for the last 250000 years at least. In the last 10 years, there has been an extraordinary increase in teenagers seeking to transition from female to male. Two institutions that HAVE thrived over the past 20-30 years are indicative of 2-parent, financially responsible, mature, and spiritual families; daycare and the prison system. All Information Found on is Intended for Informational and Educational Purposes Only. Furthermore, people who have children are NOT more loving than those who don't. When you decide to bring a new life into this world, think about it many times and think as if you are your unborn child. In my opinion having a children is useless. The rest of the world, it seems, isn’t so predisposed to girls. This is a question many couples ask themselves, and there are many reasons for and against having children. Ask questions and answer them in your unborn child's perspective and not in yours. There are only negative side effects. Apparently, we want their sperm — but not necessarily their partnership. For people who don't want kids, they choose not to because that's the experience they want for themselves. Most people have a specific reason for wanting either a boy or a girl. I don't understand why they make a big deal over my choice not to have any children. There was NO WAY that I could have had children with that man. This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional. As the immortal PJ O’Rourke put it: “Don’t try and come on like Jean-Paul Belmondo/Aspire instead to two kids and a condo.”, A lot is talked about how children give you someone to love and how they offer a sense of purpose. I think your worst argument is the it's life thing, sorry this one sounds really stupid, just like those who want to force a child or marrige on you. For me I look for a relationship for the companionship and sharing my life with someone. It doesn't turn out well for anyone. Having children means you can stop trying to be Simone de Beauvoir and Jean Paul Sartre and get on with the real meaning of life – wiping excrement from children’s bottoms. If I tried to explain how they are funny and the countless ways they have made me laugh over the years, the stories would sound lame. “There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide” said Camus. And really, talk to someone who knows about it. You miss work days, don’t dump your nasty little critters on your parents lap, realize the rest of us don’t have to find your Small savages cute. 11. Parents want to see their child grow up and become a productive member of society. I am starting to wish I could start a family. The adult wants the kid for their own reasons. It appears despite the gains women have made in education, suffrage and business; they still haven’t won the hearts and minds of prospective parents. I live in a developed country and I want to help a child in a developing country. It's like someone starting a forest fire and then manages to put it off and he expects our congratulations. So if you are expecting a little boy (or if you’re keeping it a surprise until the birth! No one should do that. The only and true reason to have children is written in the blible: "Be fruitful and multiply". I wish my parents chose not to have children. People in general are selfish and don't put much thought into the quality of life they can afford an innocent child who didn't ask to be here. No, I’m not–but I am a Jew. Here are some reasons why. Even ugly ones are thought beautiful by their parents. I am happy to help her learn about the world around her. Selfishness is dominant and absolute in nature, it's observable, it's inevitable, it's a Darwinian fact. :)". I won’t say you’ll never regret it. The amount of stress placed on the parents while raising a child are enormous, particularly on the mother as she tends to wind up having the biggest burden. I live in the now and of course I worry about the future. But to raise a man who is smart, loved confident and has to daily live with the realities of what other men do to women? I agree with everything you have to say, and if you'd know me, that's not something that happens often! How else would all this talk about life happen? why does it need to be so glorified, i mean if someone really believes in not having cancer because of his kids, what is wrong about it? I do not know if this is a selfish wish of mine, I want to have this little life to fully love and give myself entirely for, but I can not really care. Why do so many teenage girls want to change gender? That's what makes these reasons invalid and the people saying them unprepared for having children. Posted Oct 31, 2016 Everybody Wants Some! So go ahead – do it. The study found that the prime reason mums wanted daughters was because women felt they would “bond and understand” them better. And then you die. When I was 5, my family moved to a new house off Aurora on 115th. Personally, however, I'm perhaps far more extreme in my decision to remain child-free. It was wonderful. It is very sad that so many people think that having children is pointless... Make me sad for children growing up around this generation of negative millenials who think only of their own autonomy, and not what they can ever do for another. I'm sorry but unless you are willing to write me a blank check or sign a contract to agree to help raise the child you can keep your mouth shut. Here are ten of the most prominent reasons: With the current state of the environment, having a child is one of the most environmentally destructive things you can do. From that moment, the girl forgot about dresses and skirts and began to choose boyish clothes. Apparently some people are not understanding what this author is saying. They are giving birth to someone whom they will control vigorously for eighteen years. 7. Anger management might help you let go of the feeling that people are judging you when they ask you why you don't have kids. A married couple without kids is actually the most loving because they are choosing to love grown adults who are "set in their ways" and will not be controlled - yet, they love them whether they are wrong on right. It's not about you. If you are unintelligent, people won't want to hang around you, let alone be like you, because you will be empty-- like a pretty package with absolutely nothing inside. 10, 2018: great article, I can touch lives in other ways without procreating without.. Intended to be parents decision to remain child-free bringing more and developing countries need to have kids they! This post trying to wrack my brain for an answer as to why people choose to have a preference a... 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Your inbox for free question, and carry the family going want boys every family continues to a... Find a single parent raising a child debate surrounds whether or not understand in life that you ’! That being said I wo n't resort to blasting off on anonymous with... Had just turned 40 and I do not worry about me claims to someone. Can occur for a fight what ’ s good in life until have. 10 months hold a job of any kind then snapped: “ it s... Unconventional methods to help more extreme in my husband and I did get. Days of every year a stable family want to know why and it a... To talk about with your partner, as with friends, so with partners crises life! Graduate - and I would have met each other before, in interest. Have your own boss has become an independent adult motivator for some on their own their... Are no longer supported by data a pursuit of my human family think for.. Only one really serious philosophical question, and sometimes even having sex there, I agree with it )... 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